The Fleeting Milestone High

After receiving another rejection email today, I feel a little down (the milestone high is wearing off). In an insanity filled second I wanted to scream, "What do you want from me?" Needless to say, my frustration grew. It's hard not to be frustrated when you hear (read) that the business is subjective for the umpteenth time. Do you know how I hate that word? How it has become the equivalent of nails-against-the-chalkboard for me. How many times I've seen that word in every type of sentence trying to let me down the easy way after the inital version of I'm not interested. I'm a big girl, I can take the rejection without padding, or the implication that someone else might be interested. I obviously know that, which is why I researched and queried more than one agent.

Rant over. I feel better now.

Small Milestones And Accomplishments

Sometimes it's the little things that make me giddy. A television show that I'm obsessed with, returns to the airwaves. My envisioned dish and/or dessert is executed without too much difficulty. Since I'm too cheap to go to the movies but have nothing but time, the DVD of a movie I've dieing to see has finally been released. I step on the scale and discover that I lost weight. All these instances produce the same glee, but the ones that keep me flying are those that pertain to my writing.

This morning I reached 25k (actually passed that) on my newest WIP (Work In Progress). This small feat means several things to me: 1. I'm committed to finishing this WIP. 2. My projected deadline for the first draft is doable. 3. I'm actually writing, despite bouts of writer's block and being overworked at my day job.

Very little can destroy my natural writer's high. It's a personal accomplishment that no one else will be able to understand or savor the way that I'm doing right at this moment. Even a rejection email for my manuscript wouldn't be able to diminish this.

It Happens For A Reason

If you're a believer that everything happens for a reason, then my recent up rise in rejections (querying, as well as job changing), then the (hopefully) last disappointment will add to the unknown reason. Not to be personal (it's better if I keep something's a mystery), I work in Higher Education (full time and adjuncting). I got an email that my adjunct class was cancelled due to low enrollment. Apparently, seniority doesn't mean anything, otherwise I would've been given the full class.

Hearing my recent plight, everyone is telling me that it happened for a reason. It would be nice to know what that reason was. Sure, I'll be able to focus more on my writing considering I only have my full time day job to drive me crazy, but I had that "break" all Summer and I was looking forward to teaching again. Plus, missing this semester blows my accumulated succession of semesters, making it no longer free to take non-credited courses. Although I didn't partake on them, I just reached such a status last semester ago (ergo, not enough time).

Now feeling really down about this latest debacle (though the anger has helped with my writing), I'm left speculating what "reason" there is for all of this opposition. Here are a few that I came up with:

1. Writing related. I will finish the first draft of my latest project, and receive representation for my previous one. Therefore, my days will be pretty busy juggling the two (i.e. revisions of two different levels).

2. I will prepare this Fall and get an even better adjunct position for the Spring.

3. Since I'm looking for new full time employment (keeping my options open), I receive an offer and begin a new journey at a different college.

4. Nothing happens.

Being a complete skeptic, I vote for option 4, but there is a little glimmer of optimism in me that I'll be surprised and have a mixture of the top three. Who knows, it could happen.

To Be Continued......

Breaking the Wall

Everyone can agree that rejection sucks no matter what it's for. Last week was pretty brutal in terms of rejections (five for queries/ one for a full), and a job "we're going with another applicant" email. It made me a little depressed (for about thirty seconds), then it made me pissed. That anger fueled my creativity, ending the writer's block I couldn't escape for weeks. More sarcasm, less weakling, my words began to flow. This is probably the only time I would be thankful for a tough week, since it brought me to another level. It was the kick in the butt I needed to persevere.

Would it be in bad form to say, thanks?