...for neglecting the blog. Besides lack of computer and internet access, the only other option (post at work) disappeared. There is only one reason I would stop blogging: the day job. After new management took over, I was informed that my performance wasn't measuring up. At the time, this crushed me. Especially after three and half years of proven success and six months prior receiving another exceptional performance review.
Then the rage followed. Me, my friends and family all raged. My best supporters in anything that I do, know from me telling them all of the extra stuff that I do on a daily basis that is not in my job description. I was more hurt that those who knew this meeting would occur, and knew how much I dedicated myself to this position, didn't warn me in advance.
Then I got productive. Looking for other jobs, while compiling evidence in case I am wrongfully terminated and need to take legal action.
After days of a blind rage, I realized what this really was about. Attacking my performance was complete BS. It's a numbers game. That's all the new people care about. How many people there is. And if the numbers are not what they expected or have dreamed up there should be, then it's my fault. I'm the person to blame. But it's not in my job description to secure numbers.
Now after weeks to calm down enough so the anger is just below the surface, I'm being truly careful to really use the internet at lunch, still looking for another day job where I'll be appreciated, see everyone involved in the situation as backstabbers and opporuntists, and still making a case (if necessary). To say that I work in a hostile environment is putting it lightly (only they don't know it).
What I did learn from this experience is that I'm not intimidated. I know what I've done and what I'll continue to do until I leave. I can't wait for that day, cause that will be the day I'll speak my mind.
With the computer issues at home now resolved, there is only one thing to say: It's good to be back!!!
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